Confidence is Your Friend, But Ego is Your Enemy
Why it’s important to feel good, but not too good, about yourself.
Before I begin, there’s something important I need to share with you at the end of this article. Be sure to read until the end.
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Today I attended an online medical seminar about four prevalent diseases in Nigeria.
(It was fascinating.)
After giving the lecture, the doctor asked a question about treating a patient with malaria.
Other students piped up with logical reasoning, but all wrong answers.
However, I managed to think of the correct answer.
There was just a problem. A teensy-weensy problem.
I didn’t say my answer.
Why? I was decently confident that I was right, after all.
But despite the 99% of self-confidence, I let the 1% of self-doubt control my thoughts and actions.
I let the possibility of being wrong seem more significant than the probability.
I’m sure that has happened to you, too—perhaps the eerie silence in a Zoom meeting when someone asks, “So guys, do you have any comments?”
That’s when everyone’s minds flutter with insane thoughts and assumptions:
“Do I say something?”
“What do I say?”
“How do I say it?”
“What will the others think? I can’t tell from their facial expressions!”
What an embarrassing, sweat-inducing, and anxiety-proking experience. But it stops today.
That’s because today you’ll meet a new friend: Confidence.
Confidence, Your Friend
Imagine success as a pyramid. The lower parts are large bases that serve as the foundation for the next steps.
If I designed such a success pyramid, the foundation would probably be Find the Motivation. But, the next step would be Be Confident.
Self-confidence is key to success.
Although motivation is the spark that ignites the flame, self-confidence is like oxygen — it’s the fuel that keeps it burning.
As you work towards success, you should always aim to build your confidence.
Keep your head up high as you tread down the road.
Make sure you have enough self-belief to keep learning, trying new things, or improving yourself.
And when you continue moving forward, you’ll become more and more confident like compound interest.
With time, you’ll have a wealth of self-confidence.
The more confident you are in yourself, the greater your chance of succeeding in new areas.
Self-confidence lets you believe you can be successful — you don’t have to be scared about making mistakes.
So always attempt to answer questions at school or work. Be confident.
Confidence is your best friend — it supports, motivates, and moves you forward with each step you take.
But as with many things, self-confidence has its limits.
Ego, Your Enemy
Let’s say compound interest has just made you the wealthiest in the world.
When you think about being rich, you might imagine swimming in 100-dollar bills or living in a palace made of gold.
You’re daydreaming now, aren’t you?
But for a moment, consider the attention you’d get from everyone — your face would cover every front page and every breaking headline.
I don’t know about you, but all that attention would give me stress and anxiety.
So it seems that too much compound interest might have consequences.
The same idea goes for self-confidence — you don’t want too much of it either. When you accumulate too much, your ego is born.
Confidence is to motivate you towards success, but your ego will push you a bit too far in dangerous directions.
Don’t let self-confidence turn into an ego — because no one likes a big ego.
But of course, easier said than done. So here’s an idea to help you.
Self-Reflection
If you’re struggling with an ego, I recommend reflecting on your daily mistakes and missteps.
You can write them in a journal, discuss them with a friend, or ponder them while meditating if you’re keen on that.
The intention is to humble yourself — like a reminder telling you that however successful you may be, you still mess up sometimes.
Humility will give you enough self-confidence to stay successful and keep the ego away.
But don’t let those mistakes beat you up.
This reflection isn’t to prove you’re awful. It’s to prove that you’re great, but with just a few flaws.
And when you’re modest and aware of your flaws, your ego will have no way to hold onto you.
A perfect example is a first-year medical student. Having been accepted to school, they’ll have a pretty unhealthy self-confidence.
But when they enter the hospital and start working with doctors, they discover something important.
They don’t know anything.
Only when they drop the ego of being a med student do they begin learning and gaining valuable experience.
It’s like sugar.
You want sugar from fresh, healthy fruit, not from artificial sweeteners.
Healthy self-confidence builds you up, but the unhealthy ego leads you to a cliff.
Remember: healthy self-confidence is your friend.
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Thanks for reading! I hope you enjoyed.
Normally, this is when writers would promote ways for you, the dear reader, to give them a monetary tip or subscribe to their latest newsletter.
However, I’d suggest something different.
I’ve created a team with somke friends, and thanks to the organization Leadership Initiatives, we’re working towards improving public health in Nigeria.
Our first project is a fundraiser, which you can find using the link here. Please consider making a donation and helping the people of Nigeria.
